HOLY, a new art series by Susan Harmon

 

“I eat only sleep and air

And everyone thinks I’m dumb

But I’m smart because I’ve figured it out.

 

….and I am burning my skin off little by little

Until I reach bone and self

Until I get to where I am essential

Until I get to where I am.

 

…because I am living off the parts of me that I don’t need any more.

 

I could feel the slow drips of pain before

Swirling inside where my lings should have been

Now I’m clean inside.

 

When I knew what I had to do

I took all my notebooks, all my manuscripts

And ate them page by page

So I could take my words with me.

 

I can finally control my life

And even death

And I will die slowly like steam escaping a pipe.

 

…how wonderful to let yourself go mad

How wonderful to go on this kind of journey

And not care if you come back to tell the story.

 

I scratch words on the walls now

So people will visit the museum and know

How someone like me ends up like this

(They’ll say there is art in here somewhere)

 

I don’t hurt anymore

…I made it through

I feel so holy and clean

I am almost there….

 

Every day I get a little closer to vanishing.

Some days I can’t stand up because the room moves under my feet

And I smile because I’m almost there"

 

Nicole blackman